Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
