im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize