im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
