Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
