I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
