My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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