I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
