I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
