this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
