Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
