I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
