Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
