I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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