I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
