The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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