thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
