im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize