My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
