he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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