you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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