"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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