Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
