The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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