he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
