Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I want her autograph on my taint
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
