sorry about calling you the devil all night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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