I want to stick my p in your. b.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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