You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
