You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
