Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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