Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
