If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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