She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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