I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize