she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
