Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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