every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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