I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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