don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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