Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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