worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you didnt know i had herpes?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
