no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
