Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
