Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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