i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize