well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
