I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
