dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
