toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
