i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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