Pappa wants mamma naked
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
