you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize