they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
