I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
