So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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