I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
