thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
