Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
