yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
